We moved to Oklahoma just over a year ago. Three weeks before relocating my wife and I visited the State for the very first time. I’m from the East Coast and Maureen is from Denver. So we feel a bit like expats trying to learn the traditions and customs of our host culture. This is familiar territory for us, as more than six of our nine years of marriage have been spent outside the U.S. I hope my misunderstandings and discoveries can help Okies see themselves through the eyes of an outsider, as well as giving “foreigners” an internal view of Oklahoma.
One of my first lessons happened soon after landing in tornado alley. The weekend was approaching and I asked a local what he was up to Saturday and Sunday. His response, “we’re going to the lake.” Fortunately during my first days in OKC, I had driven south on 74 and seen Lake Hefner out my car window. Thus I was able to intelligently enter into conversation.
“Oh, so you spend the whole weekend there?”
Friend: “Yeah, it’s not really worth it unless we spend a couple of nights.”
“Wow, so you actually stay right there? There’s special lake lodging?”
Friend: “Sure. My parent’s have a lake house we always stay at.”
“Oh, huh…well that’s cool. Have a good time.”
I found it a bit odd that their idea of ‘getting away’ was packing up and driving just eight miles south of their residence, but I quickly filed it away and forgot about it. Until a couple weeks later when a different new Okie friend told me that his family was going to the lake for the entire week.
“Really, a whole week? And you just drive there each morning and spend the day swimming and stuff?”
Friend: “No no man, we’re renting a house close to the lake.”
“You mean even closer than your house? Aren’t you only like ten minutes from Hefner?”
That was the question, the one which opened the door of my understanding. After getting his laughter under control, my friend pointed out that they were actually going to Lake Eufaula about 130 miles east of the city…one of hundreds of lakes in the State.
Where I’m from in Virginia, if we were going to a lake to hang out, we’d specify a particular one, “I’m going to Lake Anna,” or “we’ll be at Smith Mountain Lake for the holiday.” I’ve now come to realize that in Oklahoma “the lake” may be referring to Arcadia, Eufaula, Tenkiller, Thunderbird, or many other bodies of water. Amazing what the use of just one little definite article can communicate to the non fluent newbie.
I was very relieved to find that this completely land locked area boasts more than a mere 18 miles of lake shore. And thwarting any temptation to cast stones, I realized in reflection that where I’m from, one communicates a visit to any of the beaches dotting the Atlantic shore from New Jersey to South Carolina by simply saying, “We’re going to the beach.”
What about you, have you had to learn the customs or idioms of a new place the hard way? Any humorous “cross-cultural” stories you’d like to share?
[…] One of my first lessons happened soon after landing in tornado alley. The weekend was approaching and I asked a local what he was up to Saturday and Sunday. His response, “we’re going to the lake.” … [continue reading] […]